Tuesday, August 16, 2011

This Is Gonna Leave a Mark

I'll begin with the conclusion: the U, Doc's treasured alma mater, will likely be invited to the woodshed in very short order for improprieties that are gargantuan in stature.  I invite you to partake of the recitation by clicking here.

Football at the University of Miami is likely to be taking a pretty big hit soon.  Think USC-type punishment.
Tsk-tsk.





Thursday, August 4, 2011

Picking (up after) the Dogs

Lest you feel compelled later to wag your finger, allow me to begin with the admission that I tricked you to get you here.  The dogs to which the title refers are not underdogs in our customary reference.  I am telling you today a tale/tail of actual dogs.

There is a company in Knoxville, TN, BioPet Vet Lab, that has launched a new franchising venture call PooPrints.  Their business is...dog crap.  Here's how it works.
This $100 device is marketed
to vaccum up the evidence.
Provides up to 50 cleanups
 after a 12-hour charge.
  Includes 25 3-lb.-capacity bags.
Ugh.

An apartment buidling or homeowner association signs up for their service. All resident canines are required to submit a cheek swab to establish DNA identity. When an unclaimed pile of you-know-what is discovered, some lucky soul on the building or grounds staff takes a crap sample and mails it to the poop sleuths, who provide the identify of the author for a fee of $60. 

This is when the s&%# hits the fan.  Conviction with DNA evidence will be a certainty, assuring that the random crapper and its owner are collared and sent straight to the dog house. 

Nothing to do with football, I just had to share the story. 

That is all.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Two Gun Gets a Belated Birthday Present

This is
A. Ozzie Guillen's successor  
B. Ozzie Canseco, bro of Jose
C. Ozzie Osbourne's new gig 
D. Joe Vandal                        
The greatest joy of our season is the post-season (a contradiction, yes).  As if to salute my handicapping partner of all these years, the good people of Idaho have dumped the Humanitarian Bowl.  The game will endure, the name will not.  Out with the old, in with the new.  We salute:  the Idaho Potato Bowl.

We can no longer refer to the University of Idaho's Vandals as the Idaho Potatoes.  The moniker is reserved to the bowl game.

That is all.