Ebo Walker...and Those Damned Dogs Kept Barking the Whole Time

Warm up the big screen, chill down the Dr. Pepper and tell Aunt Sally she'll have to take the bus.  We have a lot of football watching to do this Saturday.  There's a lot of exciting stuff happening.  Quoth Briscoe Darling "just hang onta somethin'!"

**** Penn State -6 1/2 @ Illinois

Joe Paterno's team hasn't covered a spread yet this season. Why does Penn State merit 4 stars now, you may ask. The answer lies deep within the darkest regions of a 167 year old man's heart: from the loss to Iowa, Joe is as angry as a man can get. Vein popping, vision blurring, ancient Italian curse throwing angry. Threatening the livelihood of the coaching staff angry. Spitting (more than usual) tirade angry. He may be telling the scribes about character building, about marathons vs. sprints, all that bull, but I believe that the dean of college football coaches has been wounded, and that this week his team will be ready to destroy whomever is so unfortunate as to cross its path. Drum roll, please, and... enter the Illini. Already on the road to perdition and reeling from a shutout thrashing at the hands of Ohio State, the Illini will be at home with 70,000 orange clad loonies loudly urging them on and head coach Ron Zook seeking an escape from his own personal hell. Great game coming, 2:30 on ABC. Penn State by 10.

***  Alabama -17 @ Kentucky

Here comes the Crimson Tide!  They're 4-0 and picking up steam. Kentucky is 2-1 and heading for an at-home-behind-whuppin'.  That's Ricky Craven at the right winning by an eyelash in the old Tide (no relation) car, posted here just 'cause Two Gun misses Ricky.    11:30 a.m. on ESPN 360  Alabama 40, Kentucky 16.
** Mississippi -9 1/2 @ Vanderbilt
Ole Miss comes visiting with a 3-0 record. They've blasted Breathe for Me Elvis Memphis and Southeastern La and lost last week 16-10 to South Carolina's Gamecocks. Vanderbilt, part of last year's much celebrated and ultimately mythical renaissance of the smart kid schools (reference the '09 version of Northwestern) is 2-2 and muddling along. The danger here is that Mississippi looks past Vandy to the following Saturday's matchup with 'Bama. Since this is a conference game, and since the SEC big boys all need to flex their muscles to impress the pollsters, and since the SEC is populated with a number of coaches who just love to annihilate everybody who ain't them, and since the Rebs are surely plenty upset at last week's loss, I think we're good. 6:00 p.m. ESPNU Miss 38, Vandy 13.
* Oklahoma -7.5 @ Miami
This is the #8 team @ the #17 team.  Dr. Nic, it is indeed a sadness, as your pater familius has deigned the 'Canes the lesser of two rivals.  It's this week's Pete's Perfect Pick, too, adding insult to the injury.  Oklahoma has outscored its opponents 109 - 0 over the past two weeks, sans Sam Bradford.  Two Gun promises that it will be the boys who posted the zeros (OK's defense) that rules the day.  Miami's gonna be grumpy, having been drubbed by VaTech last week.  Come Sunday, they'll be grumpier.  In the words of Keith Jackson, Whoa Nellie we've got a ding dong dillie of battle shaping up here tonite! 7:00 p.m. ABC  Oklahoma 17, Miami 7.


That's Week 5. Don't miss the battle of California: USC @ Cal Bears, ditto the Whoa Nellie. Excuse me now, as I must go outside and choke my neighbor's dogs.


Off topic: I just finished the latest Dan Brown book "The Lost Symbol".  If you liked "The DaVinci Code" and "Angels and Demons", you're going to like this one too.  A lot.