Two Gun and I were comiserating about our lack of success, make that "our abject failure", so far this year, when it occurred to me that we have posted winning records for seven straight years. Seven years.
We are not going to abandon our foundation. We are not going to invent new, crazy ways of evaluating our props. We are not going to fling money at teams and games we don't understand.
I did dump the new logo, though.
We are having an abhorrent year. Seven years of success. This is an aberration. We will right this ship, and there are five weeks left in which to do so. So here goes.
Oregon Ducks @ Cal Bears OVER 58 ****
Saturday 6:30 p.m. on Versus
Oregon has been the uber offense game after game this year. Two Gun voiced concerns that things are bound to change. They may, but I sure hope it's next week at the earliest.
Oregon Ducks -19 1/2 @ Cal Bears ***
Same time, same station
The Ducks are full steam ahead. Cal has a history of making less and less of an impact as the season wears on. The Ducks need to eviscerate the Bears. For the people of Oregon. For the students at their university. Most importantly, for Two Gun and I.
UTEP @ Arkansas OVER 60 **
Saturday 6:00 p.m. on ESPNU
This contest is Two Gun's prescription for fixin' what ails us. Two Gun gave me an enthusiastic and highly detailed explanation of why he thinks this game is a lock, said descriptions including tales of overenergized southern youth and the picturesque backdrop of Doody-something or other stadium and stuff like that. Frankly, it was all more than I could process, being in a state of brain cramped depression over the abhorrent and aberrant thing, so I figured we should just go this way, 'cause he studied and he's my partner. How's that for incisive analytical reasoning?
Stanford @ Arizona State OVER 59 1/2 *
Saturday 6:30 p.m. on FCS
Jim Harbaugh is not our favorite, but his team scores shitloads of points. Arizona State can put 'em up, too.
We are taunting the gambling gods. Two Gun has launched a State of Utah parlay for tomorrow, and one of the Utahs is playing USB.
P.S. Off topic, but too aggravating to avoid comment, is the Ricketts' request that the State of Illinois issue up to $300 million in bonds to rehab Wiggley Field and develop the area around the dump. This boils down real easy for me to "We paid too much for this crapshack but we figured all along that we could saddle the people with our problem". All the bunk you're hearing about economic engines and tourism is just that, bunk, which is a nice word for bull&#@%. There's also this little issue to be considered that the State of Illinois is bankrupt. Ricketts might want to approach a couple of his outfielders and his badly behaved pitcher for a loan, as their contracts add up to about what Ricketts is asking. The Cubs also recently failed in their bid to get the State of Arizona to tax all the other spring training teams to build a new spring playpen for them. Gotta give them credit, these guys ain't shy.
Tom Ricketts...just the latest reason to hate the Cubs.
4 comments:
Soooo
A new strategy, beat your yourselves with a verbal onslaught as to whether your performance is digusting or atypical, then go for the over/under spread rather than submit yourselves to the inconsistencies of college prognostication.
Damm no spell check on this thing
Good luck lumping a half dozen eggs in an Oregon basket.
Me - I think Michigan will cover the 13 they are giving away.
Good Luck from Big Mike
Disgusting AND atypical, at least that's what we're banking on. The atypical part, that is. As for RichRodU, sadly, I concur. I shall cheer for the crew from West Lafayette, but Xmas only comes twice a year (12/25 and Northwestern).
My newest employment avenue is anesthesia and in order to make sure the patient is ok you hook them up to an EKG (ECG actually). One of the primary things we take note of are Aberrant heart conduction patterns leading to "the big one" as Two-gun phrases it.
Careful, in trying to break the curse of USB aberrant patterns make take hold.
Best of luck and Go Canes!
Tampanita
This is an affront to Hermes, or maybe a paean to Hermes, this attempt to be on the correct side of USB. We are not alone! The USB faithful are more masochistic than the followers of the Ricketts Wiggley Empire. One lives in a past that is not returning, the other in hope of a future that will never arrive.
I wish I was in Tampa.
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