Loosen Up Your Arm, Honey

Some enterprising individual has found a new way to engage the formerly disinterested spouses of football on tv addicts.  I found these Koozballs in a store in Nashville during the recent southern sojourn to return the young squire to his institute of higher learning. 

The concept is quite simple: you don't want to get up to go to the fridge, lest you risk missing a critical play or the latest Mayhem commercial, but that thirst of yours is reaching critical status.  It would be wrong to call on  your significant other to cater to your drink needs...but wait!  Now she can simply insert a frosty can into this handy foam football in the kitchen and solve all the problems in the family room in the blink of an eye!  With no more effort than your favorite QB would expend throwing a skinny post pattern on 2nd and nine, the QB of your heart can put 12 ounces of frosty refreshment into play at any time.

I offer a couple of words about things you're going to want to keep in mind here to avoid getting the skunk eye.  First, be mindful of her welfare.  You and your dear one will want to go out on the front lawn a half hour or so prior to kickoff so she can limber up before the game. You don't want her coming up with a sore arm.  If she balks, tell her the Kennedys were famous for their football games on the lawn and you're just channeling upward mobility. 

Second, you may want to consider wearing a helmet while you watch the game, lest she zing one into the side of your cranium to express her discontent with you, even though you were concerned about her enough to go through that pre-game workout session. 

Stuff happens.