Opening Night Winner

One of our selections for this opening weekend, UCF and the Akron Zips, didn't fail to please...or pay.

 *** Central Florida -23 1/2 @ Akron   WIN
UCF scored early and often en route to putting up a 56-14 victory over our favorite underdog, the Akron Zips.  It was 35-0 at the half, then the reserves came in.  It's a fine start to our year, a three star winner.

A couple other teams made an impact on me inThursday night's games, though for different reasons.  Minnesota, under coach Jerry Kill (the former guru of Northern Illinois), looked simply terrible against UNLV.  They are going to get crushed in conference play if Thursday is a true representation of who they are.  They have an athlete at QB, not a QB, and the athlete is not an elite player, though it's tough to tell how much was due to Minnesota's porous offensive line. . Their offense performs as if they met each other a few days ago and decided to improvise.  UNLV was a perrrrfect opponent; they're just not very good.  Things got entertaining at the end as the two had to go to OT to decide things.

BYU and Washington State showed that BYU is solid again and Mike Leach and WSU have a long way to go to achieve anything on offense.  The game was rather polite. Might even say boring, as WSU was out of it pretty early, losing 30-6.

finally, while Steve Spurrier and SoCarolina beat Vandy, 17-13,  they couldn't cover, due in part to Their QB playing most of the game with an injured arm. The Gamecocks are pretty good, but Vandy was pretty impressive.  Keep an eye on them to make some noise as the season progresses.  

We Start Today

Loosen Up Your Arm, Honey

Some enterprising individual has found a new way to engage the formerly disinterested spouses of football on tv addicts.  I found these Koozballs in a store in Nashville during the recent southern sojourn to return the young squire to his institute of higher learning. 

The concept is quite simple: you don't want to get up to go to the fridge, lest you risk missing a critical play or the latest Mayhem commercial, but that thirst of yours is reaching critical status.  It would be wrong to call on  your significant other to cater to your drink needs...but wait!  Now she can simply insert a frosty can into this handy foam football in the kitchen and solve all the problems in the family room in the blink of an eye!  With no more effort than your favorite QB would expend throwing a skinny post pattern on 2nd and nine, the QB of your heart can put 12 ounces of frosty refreshment into play at any time.

I offer a couple of words about things you're going to want to keep in mind here to avoid getting the skunk eye.  First, be mindful of her welfare.  You and your dear one will want to go out on the front lawn a half hour or so prior to kickoff so she can limber up before the game. You don't want her coming up with a sore arm.  If she balks, tell her the Kennedys were famous for their football games on the lawn and you're just channeling upward mobility. 

Second, you may want to consider wearing a helmet while you watch the game, lest she zing one into the side of your cranium to express her discontent with you, even though you were concerned about her enough to go through that pre-game workout session. 

Stuff happens.

Vultures Make Me Nervous

Today is a travel review, not our usual football theme.  I would like to tell you about Cedar Key, Flahriddah.  I spent yesterday there.

Mimsy and I have been to a lot of places in Florida over the years, and we have enjoyed pretty much every one of them.  From St. Augustine down the coast to Daytona, New Smyrna, Ft. Lauderdale, Boca, Jupiter, Miami, the Keys, Alligator Alley, Lake Okeechobee, Cape Coral, Venice and every place up the coast to Homosassa, plus lots of places on the interior of the state.  We have done the theme parks, the roadside attractions, all manner of fun touristy stuff...we've experienced a lot of Florida and loved it.

Up until yesterday, we hadn't been to the northwest coast, the area between the towns north of Clearwater and the panhandle.  So, when I stumbled onto Cedar Key on a net search, I got pretty excited.  Cedar Key is portrayed as a laid back, artsy village that offers good sea food, relaxation and a little bit of old Florida, sort of an off the path Key West.  I love the idea of undiscovered gems.

The tariff for this was a 47 mile ride off the interstate.  Less than an hour to go from the main highway to private paradise.  I was pumped up! We had an extra day on our schedule, so this jaunt to Cedar Key was ideal.  Leaving I-75 at Lake City, FL, we headed west.  Hurricane Isaac was pushing big clouds our way and there was intermittent rain to go with the overcast.  The GPS was programmed for Cedar Key.  We drove through some raggedy areas with sparsely scattered residential units (being kind here), undeterred by the rather unattractive landscape.  Some cattle ranches popped up along the way; that was a highlight in this endless forest-swamp-forest scenery.  After about a half hour, my son noticed that the GPS was calculating our ETA at an hour to go.  This was the first bit of foreshadowing that our adventure would be a little departure from our expectations. Still, we expected great things to come.

That's when we noticed that there were vultures everywhere along the road, big black vultures in the trees, watching as we rolled along.  Creepy.

When we rolled into Cedar Key a loooonnnnng time later, we found not so much a paradise unaffected by time as much as a run down little town that seems to be stubbornly clinging to a promise.  It's a combo ghost town-painted lady- fishing village.  There's a few blocks of main streets, stacked up and leading to the shore where the main cafes, restaurants, bars and shops are situated.  Crossing the bridge to that row of buildings, the first thing you see it a large, weathered restaurant building on piers over the water with a sign that permanently proclaims tongue-in-cheek "now serving breakfast".  Ha!  Must be a 'round the clock place, huh?  When we got around to the other side, we found that it's abandoned.  'Round the clock empty.

Walking down the street, there's businesses on both sides, looking chicly tattered.  Recall the foreshadowing here.  Half of the places weren't open, with no indication of when they might be or might have been.  Still, there was lots of promise in the appearance of the others, until we found that they were pretty much deserted.   Mimsy picked one of the two restaurants that looked to be open and we went in for lunch.

It appeared she had chosen well: a big woody room on the second floor over a fun looking bar, with floor to ceiling windows looking out over the water, a friendly waitress and a broad, albeit pricey, menu. Cut to the chase: The priciest meal of the trip, pretty crappy food.  We paid up and strolled the business area and found...nothing to do.  We did find cats everywhere.  Sullen, scrawny cats, staring defiantly at us and at each other, like the in-town counterparts of the highway vultures.

One of the freaky guardians of the streets of Cedar Key.

Next, we chose one of the two motels that our waitress had recommended, the Gulf Side.  Back up yet again to the foreshadowing.  The little place was brightly painted with a front yard on the water leading to a huge two level wooden fishing pier that extended over a hundred feet into the Gulf.  Retro, that's the word I heard from the smiling woman at the check-in desk as she took the same amount of money I had paid for a sleek ultra-modern room the day before. It was a bit later that we found there were no stairs to the top level of the pier, just a hole in the middle where the stairs might have once been.  So appropriate to this place...

If they tell you it's retro, leave at once.

When we fled the room early the next morning, an hour before daybreak, we had had quite enough of our tenement on the water. It was clean, I'll give it that credit.  It was also tiny, teeny tiny claustrophobic small...and old, like it was held together by a hundred coats of paint, though none recent... and dangerous, as evidenced by the yelp from my son when he got an electrical shock through his computer that left a burn mark on his stomach.  The air conditioner in the bedroom window droned on and on, giving its all, to no avail, as it was challenged beyond its ability by the gap under the front door.  No lock on the bathroom door, but we're family, so overlook it.  Two TV channels on an ancient little set.  America's Funniest Videos with a reference to the 2009 season...maybe we are in the Twilight Zone?

All that aside, Mimsy and I were glad that we went.  It's the journey sometimes, really it is, that's more important than the destination, and we took a giggle from this one that we can talk about.
It helps, too, that I'm writing this from the luxury of a really  kickin' room on the 11th floor of the Westin overlooking Tampa Bay.  No vultures!

WACky Moves and Holy Wars

Quick little update, this one coming to you from the heart of Georgia, Macon. 

Did you catch the news that the WAC is suggesting that 2012 may be its swan song because it likely won't have enough member schools after this year's departures. 

Currently, this is the WAC:
Denver, Lousiana Tech, Idaho, New Mexico State, Seattle, Texas-Arlington, Texas-SanAntonio, Texas-San Marcos, and Utah State.

Leaving:
 Lousiana Tech and Texas-SanAntonio to Conference USA
SanJose State and Utah State to Mountain West
Texas-Arlington and Texas-San Marcos to the Sun Belt.

I am overwhelmed with apathy, as were the 19 former members of the WAC, including some really big names, e.g Boise and TCU.  It's like your high school girlfriend who broke up with you ends up as the Playboy centerfold and you're still working the drive thru window at Wendy's...and Wendy's just told you they're closing.

This is the logo of the Northwestern State Demon
of the Southland Conference. So these two very
Christian schools are joining the conference and
I see some holy wars coming on the gridiron.
Even so, I don't care.

On a related note, if you think you don't have enough of a crowd playing D1, Abilene Christian and Incarnate Word have announced that they're going D1. Abilene Christian has 4,600 students and is located in (fill in the blanks)  _ _ _ _ _ _ _, TX.   University of the Incarnate Word is located in Alamo Heights, TX (really) and has 8,500 students.

They're both heading for the Southland Conference.  If you want to know who else is there, in the Southland, click here.  It's not an elite list.

Maybe the WAC survivors should call the Southland?

Opening Weekend of College Football

The first game of the season is just ten days away. Remember when you were a kid and there were "just" ten days until Christmas? That's how this feels right now. It's time--almost--to start procrastinating on chores and scheduling shopping around kickoff times. Marching bands, cheerleaders, tailgating, it is the greatest atmosphere in sports.

As Two Gun Pete's favorite TV announcer (baseball) likes to say, "It's all good!".

Speaking of my partner, Two Gun, it's been 10 years now that we have been throwing darts at these games. Over those years, we've made a lot of money (not so much last year, blech) and I've learned a few things about ol' Two Gun, one of the most prominent being that he is uncomfortable placing wagers on teams from the MAC. I use the word uncomfortable here as an understatement, like saying that the Cub have been a little below average this summer. Two Gun's affinity for the MAC is somewhat akin to my feeling for Obama. Just the thought elevates the blood pressure and begins to elicit mumbling and low cursing. Even so, we've made some money on the MAC, and I'm hoping we'll do that this opening weekend.

Before we get down to business, here's another MAC, just for my partner.

* Ohio Bobcats @ Penn State UNDER 43
Saturday, September 1 @ 11:00 a.m.
When we last saw the Ohio Bobcats, they had just finished blowing a huge halftime lead and lost the MAC title game to Northern Illinois.   They will be the first guest in UnHappy Valley to launch the post-Joe era of Penn State football.  Make no mistake, this is going to be a highly emotional day, as the loyal fans of PSU will come out in their usual huge numbers to begin the transition of the football program.  Unfortunately, the team has been decimated by transfers as 9 players took advantage of the NCAA's decision to free them from their commitments to PSU.  Some big name players were among those to depart, but there's quite a bit of talent still there.  What I'm expecting is that the PSU defense is going to keep Ohio rather subdued, and the PSU offense is going to be hobbled by the departure of the QB and the stud running back.  I see the two teams toiling away on a pretty even level without a lot of scoring.

** Western Michigan +9 1/2 @ Illinois
Saturday, September 1 @ 11:00 a.m.
Illini fans are howling at the thought of this, picking the Broncos to stay within striking distance of the Illini.  WMU plays well against the Big 10, and they have an experienced, returning quarterback who can put up numbers.  The Illini are a mystery.  They have a new coach (Tim Beckman, from Toledo of -- guess who -- the MAC), a returning QB, and a lot of key guys gone from a sometimes exciting offense, and a lot of unknowns.  I see another year of indifference from the fans down in Champaign, and it's going to begin with WMU giving the Illini all they can handle on the opening weekend.

*** Central Florida -23 1/2 @ Akron
Thursday, August 30 @ 6:00 p.m.
This one looks very appetizing to me.  George Leary is in his 9th year at CFU, his team is facing sanction, there are 19 starters returning, and they have a chip on their shoulders from a very disappointing 2011 season.  There's more motivation for this group, as they will be leaving Conference USA at the end of this season to become part of the Big East.  While schedules are made years in advance, this one looks to be tailor made for getting things started right : they're traveling from warm Florida to the warm midwest (beware Florida teams in the north early in the season while it's still warm!) to take on the punching bag that is the Akron Zips.  The Zips are bad.  They have a new coach and their sites set on improving an awful program, but week one is going to be a track meet, and CFU is going to win going away.

**** Hawaii @ USC -39
Saturday, September 1 @ 6:30 p.m.
I lamented (yes, Two Gun, from time to time I lament) the departure of Pete Carroll from USC, I further lamented the arrival Lane Kiffin, and I reveled in the sanctions against USC from the Reggie Bush scandal--though it was sort an open air market kind of scandal, where the only surprise was how long it took to uncover everything.  Well, friends, USC is off their bowl suspension this year, they have a boatload of talent (including the newly arrived ex-Penn State Silas Redd at running back to bolster an already strong running attack), a very talented and experience quarterback, and a mission.  The mission is make it very clear to the world that USC is back and intends to be playing for big stakes in January.   This game is at home, so there's no distraction of traveling to Hawaii.  How does a Lane Kiffin make a statement that 2012 is going to be a very USC year?  By beating the visitors from the island senseless.  39 is a lot of points.  Too bad for Hawaii, as I'm looking for Kiffin to begin making Kiffin Covers the replacement for Carrol Covers. 

So opening week has 3 MACs and a giant four star spread.  It's all good!

I'm going to toss up a parley for opening weekend after I consult with the oracle, assuming that my MAC bets haven't caused a meltdown for Two Gun.

Hop On the Bus, Gus--er, Tyrann

The first big screw up of the new season is awarded to Tyrann Mathieu, defensive back and student/athlete (wink wink) at LSU.  The other day, Tyrann was dismissed from the LSU football team for a violation of team rules.  Some of the observers of the college football scene have asserted that it was multiple failures of drug tests that brought the dismissal. 

We may never know...did he select McNeese
because he likes the way he looks in gold and
purple headgear?
CORRECTION: royal blue and cornflower gold.

Next step for Mathieu was to pick up the phone and call the good people over at McNeese State to determine if he might have the opportunity to continue his college education at that fine institution.  I thought that McNeese might have been the choice because of expertise in Mathieu's chosen field of study.  As it turns out, it seems to be their status as a Division II football program that is apparently the most alluring.  By transferring to a D-II program, Tyrann doesn't have to sit out a year.

At this point, I invite you to express your own feelings of shock, disbelief, dismay and/or outrage.  As for me...meh.  Somebody will still give him a big payday in the spring.

Then he will be their problem.

LINK TO STORY UPDATE HERE

Top 100 College Football

Today, I offer you a bonus post: a link to the 100 Reasons You Should Watch College Football More Than the NFL. 

Click HERE to enjoy!

New and Pre-driven Faces, New Places

As the teams begin their preparation for this year's chase for the championship, we have a lot of new hands on the respective tillers of many of the major football programs.  In plain English, there's a lot of new head coaches out there.

Most are the used car version of new coaches, that is, they have some mileage on them, but they're new to wherever they are now.

There are 124 Division I college football programs.  27 of those have new coaches for the 2012 season. That is 22 percent, and that is one heck of an attrition rate.  If you want to peruse the entire list, click here.  I'll stick to the highlights.

The big departure is Joe Paterno, out at Penn State, in at hell.  Out of the hell that is New Mexico State is Mike Locksley, who couldn't beat anybody. He is being replaced by none other than former ND coach and ESPN announcer Bob Davie, whom I will miss more as an announcer than I will appreciate as a coach.

A couple of our faves have exited since last season.  Another old fellow who left (his job, not the planet) is the venerable Howard Schnellenberger, departed from Florida Atlantic.  Nobody ever shed a tear for dear old Rutgers lost highly successful Greg Schiano to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Controversial coaches who've re-arrived include Mike Leach at Washington State and Urban "No Soul" Meyer at Ohio State.  Rich Rodriguez follows his not so wonderful tenure at Michigan by assuming the top job at Arizona. 

Farewell to Ron Zook at Illinois, replaced by Tim Beckman, ex of the Toledo Rockets of the Mighty MAC.  Adios too to Bobby Petrino, who crashed the motorcycle he was riding while a grad assistant --whom he was also riding, though not at the time-- was perched on the back, term'd at Arkansas. 

Rick Neuheisel finally ran out of runway at UCLA. He is being replaced by Jim Mora, whose father, Jim Mora (pictured above), became famous as a coach when they used his post game comments in a beer commercial.  Coach Jim the dad was eventually sacked, too, but that's not news anymore, though I was momentarily confused as to why UCLA would bring in a 77 year old to coach.  Howard Schnellenger just became unemployed at age 78, by the way, and Joe Paterno was 86 at the time of his passing, so it wasn't completely implausible.  Just "mostly implausible". 

I have an idea for a new wager for next season, a variation on The Dead Pool, using D1 football coaches losing their jobs. Wanna play?

It's Back to School Time

It has been months, seven months, since I sat and pondered putting money down on a football game.  A lot of newsworthy events have transpired in the world of college football since then.  Very little of the news has been good. 



The No Paterno statue at Penn State.

The biggest news has been the fall of Penn State.  Joe Paterno's arrogance enabled Jerry Sandusky to run rampant as a sexual predator.  The university can pay the $60 million in fines out of petty cash.  The football program has been penalized.  The shame that the university has brought down upon itself is incalculable.  The whole sordid mess illustrates the danger of allowing the game to become too big for the people who run it. 

It is amazing that as the 2012 season begins, the football programs of two of the biggest schools in the Big Ten, Penn State and Ohio State, are operating under sanctions. 

If I'm the SEC, I'm happy the Big Ten is around to make me look good.