We Had a Good Weekend

Here we are after having experienced
our spiritual rebirth this weekend.

The Mrs. and I were off on our weekend of spiritual enlightenment, so I didn't suffer as much as I would have with the misses (Mrs. And misses, get it?).

I am penning today's very brief missive as we await the redeye flight home from McCarran Airport in the spiritual enlightenment capital of the world.

Our performance : the 4 and the 3 were golden, while Stanford escaped but didn't cover by a point and my assessment of Wyoming and SDSU was 180 degrees off. The parlay was a disaster, too.

We were forced to make money the old fashioned way this weekend.

PFOS, out.

Week Nine, a Pete's Perfect Pick

The spotlight dance features TwoGun Pete this week.  Let's get to it.

****North Texas@ Arkansas State -16
Saturday 6:00 p.m.
Coach Hugh Freeze has Wolves howling.  They're a fabulous home team every year in the second half of the season, and their performance against very good competition finds mediocre and poor Sun Belt teams unable to score against them.  They're 5-2, losing to Illinois and Vermont, both top 25 teams---and they covered in both games.
---Two Gun

***  Rice @ Houston -27 1/2
Saturday 7:00 p.m.
Two Gun has been touting Houston for a while, so let's get on 'em.  They're seeking to re-climb a mountain: they last went 8-0 in 1990.  But they have Case Keenum, who's been tearing it up.  Rice has...a butt whippin' coming.

** Stanford -7 1/2 @ USC
Saturday  7:00 p.m.
The Cardinal have been rackin' 'em up every week and they are 7-0 straight up and ATS : pursuit of perfection. 



*  Wyoming @ SanDiego State -18
Saturday 9:00 p.m..
Similar records, a world of difference in who they've played.  SDS wins big against the Cowboys.

To conclude, here is a four fave parlay that pays 12:1

• Wisconsin -7  the Badgers are riled up from last week
• Clemson -3 1/2  the magic continues for another week
• Cal -5  historically a second half fader, they're at UCLA, who's a mess
• UCF -28 1/2  a TwoGun special, they're @ breathe for me Elvis/Memphis

That didn't go so well...

Lots of opportunity squandered this weekend.

I backed off TCU @ New Mexico (my favorite patsy)  'cause I thought 44 points was a big spread.  TCU decided that 69 points was an appropriate spread.  HA!

Penn State beat the alma mater, USC beat up USB (love watching Brian Kelly and Jack Swarbrick unhappy), Michigan State and Wisconsin was the best game of the weekend, and there were a bunch of games that Two Gun highlighted that would have been better choices than my four star pick.

It all looks so clear after they play the games....

**** NORTHERN ILLINOIS -14 @ BUFFALO LOSE
Final NIU 31, Buffalo 30
This is double bad, this loss.  First, it snaps a string of 4star winners.  Second, I had Nebraska @ Minnesota all plugged in as the 4star selection when I recanted and returned to my original choice of the Huskies. I looked at TCU (above) and passed, too.  To add insult to injury, NIU was sitting on a 31-10 lead at the end of Q3.  We looked golden.  20 unanswered points by Buffalo in Q4, AND......Buffalo's coach made a terrible decision to go for a 2 point conversion to win, an attempt that was, of course no good.  After you've put up 3 unanswered TD's, why wouldn't you take the tie and put your chips on the momentum you're carrying?  NIU should have lost.  We did!

Artist's rendering of the new FAU stadium.  I searched
for an artist's rendering of an FAU victory celebration,
but alas! there were none. 

*** MIDDLE TENNESSEE STATE -6 @ FLORIDA ATLANTIC WIN
Final 31-7
FAU goes to 0-7, new stadium notwithstanding.  Too bad for Coach Schnellenberger.  Seriously.

** ARMY @ VANDERBILT -11WIN
Final 44-21
Vandy had little trouble bringing this one home.


* SMU +3 @ SOUTHERN MISSISSIPPILOSE
Final...I dunno, I went to bed
When SoMiss stretched it to 21-3, I surrendered.  Another case of me torturing the data to get the answer I wanted instead of just reading what the tea leaves were saying.


As for the parlay:

• Cincinnatti @ USF OVER 54 WIN They scored 71
• Kansas State -10 @ Kansas WIN Kansas state won 59-21
• BC @ VaTech OVER 44  BUST  Final 30-14 as VaTech takes a knee at the 5 instead of putting  another one one the board...AAAARRGGGHHH!!!
• Texas A&M @ Iowa State OVER 65 1/2BUST Final total was 50.
• Air Force @ Boise State OVER 63BUST Final 37-26.  Bow to the masters, they set the spread perfectly, making this an unwinnable proposition, irrespective of all the other results.
• Tulsa -10 1/2 @ Rice...who cares...

Saturday Pick Six

Here's the Pick Six for today:

• Cincinnatti @ USF  OVER 54
• Kansas State -10 @ Kansas
• BC @ VaTech OVER 44
• Texas A&M @ Iowa State OVER 65 1/2
• Air Force @ Boise State OVER 63
• Tulsa -10 1/2 @ Rice

Pick Six pays 45:1 today!

PS: Notice that the opening illustration from "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" is either a reversed image or a covert sinistrality (click here) campaign. 

Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition

This gun defends the University of Tampa
against the 1st Baptist Church across Kennedy Avenue.
Really, it's a monument left from when Teddy Roosevelt
and his boys stayed at the Tampa Hotel planning the
war against Spain. They installed a cannon just in case
the Spaniards came sailing up the gulf and managed
to get past Fort DeSoto at the mouth of Tampa Bay.
The Tampa Hotel is now Plant Hall at UT, and the
University has a peace treaty with 1st Baptist Church.
Fort DeSoto is a museum with one of America's
Top 10 Beaches, which would have stalled the
advance of the Spaniards for quite a while.

Big weekend of football, and the books have tightened it up on us a little more.  TwoGun's latest analysis of faves/dogs and overs/unders shows that LVSM guys are keeping their drives right in the middle of the fairway.  To quote one of TwoGun's favorite philosophers, it's time to "cinch 'em up and hunker down".

BTW: click on the photos and they go BIG and look much nicer.


**** NORTHERN ILLINOIS -14 @ BUFFALO
Saturday  11:00 a.m., ESPN-GP or ESPN3
I went back and forth on this one.  Northern Illinois had a great game last week, beating Western Michigan 51-22,  while the Bulls of Buffalo were shutout 34-0 by Temple.  I'm hoping that NIU QB Tyler Harnish puts up another big game.

The facets of the base of the gun bear related
inscriptions.  This message of brotherhood and
patriotism seems to be a backhanded slap at the
northern brethren...but if you look outside, you
have to admit they scored with the truth.  The
cold, bleak truth.  Meh. There is a brain cramp
element to this, as "bleak" is teamed with "blue"
while "gray" is with "sunny south".  Despite that,
it was still 30 degrees warmer there than here
this morning.  Double meh.

***  MIDDLE TENNESSEE STATE -6 @ FLORIDA ATLANTIC
Saturday 7:00 p.m. ESPN-GP or ESPN3
MTS is 1-4.  FAU is 0-6.  Hard to get excited about this, but TwoGun says we have a diamond in the rough; just need to select the less inept of the two.  Sorry, Coach Schnellenberger...looks like #7 this week.

The photo of this side is especially for Two Gun Pete,
who just loves history, particularly the quotable parts.
The full quote is "Remember the Maine, to hell with
Spain".  The Maine was a U.S.Navy ship that sank in
Havana harbor.  It might have been (a) a fire in the
ship's coal bunker (b) a clandestine action to force
the hand of the U.S.A. into war, or (c) an act of
espionage by the Spanish.  It was 1898, and there
was no Wolf Blitzer to pose the question, so we'll
"Remember the Maine, etc...."

** ARMY @ VANDERBILT -11

Saturday  6:00 ESPNU
Army experienced the zenith of its 2011 season when it pulled down Northwestern's knickers in front of everyone on the playground in Week 3.  Before and since, the Black Knights haven't been too exciting.  Vandy comes in at an unispiring 3-3, but excepting a thrashing at the hands of Alabama (not a unique experience for 'Bama opponents, Roll Tide) the Commodores haven't looked bad.  Home field Vandy should be just fine this week.



*  SMU +3 @ SOUTHERN MISSISSIPPI
Saturday 7:00 CBSSN
5-1 and 5-1 in what looks like a great match up.  This will be some good old boys out raising hell on Saturday night, and I think the visitors are gonna bring it.  They've won five in a row.  It won't be easy; SoMiss ripped apart Navy last week 63-35.

Now, hit the play button for this bit of musical history.

Missed it by this much...

The UT Spartans warm up before their first
contest on Saturday.  This is (obviously) one
of the most picturesque settings for college
athletics anywhere.

While the gridiron gangs were beating on each other Saturday afternoon, I was firmly anchored to the bleachers in Pepin Stadium on the campus of the University of  Tampa, watching the Spartans lacrosse team win twice.  They dispatched Florida State 8-7 in game 1, then thumped crosstown rival University of South Florida 13-5 with a reduced squad in the followup game.  That was all good.  The not so good was that our favorite player was held out of both games by the trainers, who are working on strengthening his balky shoulder.  As he is, shall we say, on the competitive side, being held out of competition had short circuited the outlet for his game day truculence,  putting the lad in a rather dour frame of mind, post game.  He was particularly disenchanted with the behavior of the gang from FSU, one of whom knocked out our boy's roommate early in the first contest with a blind side head shot. When I asked about the play, he assured me that had he been allowed to participate, the offender would have garnered swift retribution, and having seen this occur several times previously, sometimes preemptively (e.g. "I just hit him back...first") I'm sure it would have been unpleasant. 

Probably a good thing for all that he was on the IR list.  On to the summary of our accounts.

**** LSU -15 1/2 @ TENNESSEE WIN
Final 37-7
It is such fun when these teams make us look good...and make us some money.

*** OKLAHOMA -33 1/2 @ KANSAS LOSE
Final 47-17.
Kansas stymied OK 4 times in the red zone, allowing field goals each time.  Had OK turned just one of those into 7 points, we'd be going to Sizzler.

The sunset, from our hotel room, on Saturday
night in Tampa.  The famed minarets of
Plant Hall on the campus of the University
of Tampa are silhouetted on the right.

** OHIO STATE +4 @ ILLINOIS WIN
Final Ohio State 17, Illinois 7
Did you think that Ohio State would lose a third consecutive game in a row?  Too bad for the Illini.  Let's see how they respond in next week's game, particularly Scheelhaase, who wasn't so good this day.



* IOWA STATE @ MISSOURI -15 WIN
Final.. I don't remember, but an easy cover
I think it was 37-17, and I should look it up, but it's late and I'm tired.  We booked this W early and then sat on pins and needles through the evening, intently listening to every word from the Philco to see if OK would be OK, which they were not.   For anyone under the age of senile, sitting around the Philco means listeing to the radio, which is what people did before satellite TV and giant screen HD...such a quaint image.  BTW, Philco was a big manufacturer of radios, and for a long time, their name was synonomous with "our big radio in the parlor", "parlor" being what people used to call their living room, which we don't even have any more, parlors having given way to the mercifully short lived "rumpus room" and then to the "rec room" and then to the "family room" and now to the "Ipod" that lets you take everything with you and you don't need a room around you to listen, but you still need one to keep your big screen 'cause nobody listens to radio anymore.

So, fans, we came within an eyelash of being perfect ourselves during "Pursuit of Perfection" week.  Don't remind me about my 7 for 7 Parlay that was as successful as Northwestern's defensive backfield.  One of these days we'll punch a $2 parlay for instant riches.  I need my man TwoGun to run down those Round Robin rules for me once again to get something salvageable going when the parlay fizzles. 

That's it for now, we'll bring back some southern warmth...I hope!

Seven for 7

Here's my week 7 parlay, a tenuous string of propositions, all on undefeated teams:

1. Wisconsin / Indiana over 61 1/2
2. Clemson -8
3. Georgia Tech -7 1/2
4. LSU -16 1/2
5. Michigan +3
6. Illinois -3 1/2
7. Alabama -27


$2 pays $177.88. Crank up the big screen.

UPDATE: we never got a chance to get excited on this play. Michigan yakked up a hairball, and things went downhill from there, adding insult to injury. Blechhhh!

In Pursuit of Perfection

Several teams have arrived at Week 7 seeking to preserve their perferct seasons.  Succinctly:

****  LSU -15 1/2 @ TENNESSEE
Saturday 2:30 CBS
LSU is 6-0. They will be 7-0 after this weekend, and they will have done it ATS.

The lighthouse at Ponce Inlet, just a
bit south of Daytona, FL.  There is
no connection to today's selections,
Ponce Inlet is simply a place that I
like.  A lot.

***  OKLAHOMA -33 1/2 @ KANSAS
Saturday 8:15 ESPN2
Oklahoma is 5-0. They will be 6-0 after this weekend, and they, too, will have done it ATS.


** OHIO STATE +4 @ ILLINOIS
Saturday  2:30 ABC
Illinois is 6-0.  They, unlike the two "and 0's" listed above, will not find their dalliance with perfection extended through the weekend. 



*  IOWA STATE @ MISSOURI -15 
Saturday  1:00 TV tba
I was sorely tempted to continue to highlight the unbeatens, but I came across this matchup of 3-2 @ 2-3.  I like Iowa State in general.  I think that Missouri, playing at home and based on its performance against a superior schedule, should be just fine for us.

There's others that are in pursuit of (continuing) perfection that worth your time this weekend, too:

• 6-0 Clemson -8 @ Maryland  Saturday 6:00 p.m. ESPNU
• 6-0 Georgia Tech -7 1/2 @ Virginia  Saturday 2:30 p.m. ESPNU
• 5-0 Stanford -21 @ Washington State  Saturday 6:30 p.m. Versus
• 5-0 Oklahoma State -7 1/2 @ Texas  Saturday 2:30 p.m. ABC or ESPN

hmmm...I feel another parlay about to erupt.  Watch for " 7 on 7".

Off Topic, Purely Entertaining

Filed under "things I found while researching other things" was this highly entertaining blog about life at college.  Click here for haha's.

That is all.

Spell It Io_a, No "W"

What a day, Saturday...here's the recap.

**** ILLINOIS -16 1/2 @ INDIANA   WIN
Final 41-20
When Jason Ford banged in an Illinois touchdown with 1:20 to go, I was simply elated, as the score went to 41-20.  This completed an 89 TD march for Illinois that had begun with 5:29 left on the clock and Illinois holding a 14 point no-cover lead.  That lead and that amount of time usually spells death, but not this time, though it went down to the last play with Indiana knocking on the door.

*** MICHIGAN -7 @ NORTHWESTERN WIN
Final 42-24
It is very difficult to be a soul-less degenerate gambler, betting against your favorite team because that is the appropriate choice, emotion aside.  The 'Cats had a great first half, leading Michigan 24-14 at the break.  Michigan clobbered 'em 28-0 in the second half, and that, as they say, is all she wrote. 
** AIR FORCE +15 @ NOTRE DAME  LOSE
Final...59-33
USB lead 42-16 at halftime. Ugh.  USB is pretty good.  Air Force, it turns, not so much.



* OKLAHOMA -9 1/2 vs TEXAS LOSE 
Final : a foregone conclusion by the end of Q1, 55-17
Outsmarted myself, again.  Picked the right team the first time, then doubled back and corrected myself.  I attempted to lay down the bet at halftime to cut the wager in half, but they only let you do that on NFL games. 

As for the 5 step parlay...

1. MN and Purdue, OVER 48--WIN, they had 55 by the end of Q3
2. Army @ MiamiO +2--WIN  MiamiO won, 35-28
3. Iowa +4 @ Penn State LOSE  IIowa had this in their grasp, couldn't close the deal.
4. Pitt @ Rutgers +7WINRutgers carried the day, winning outright
5. Vandy & 'Bama OVER 41 1/2LOSE   They went under, so my big 5 tanked even without Iowa

Iowa and Penn State was painful to watch.  Uninspired play calling on the Iowa "O" side negated a lot of hard work by their defense.  Penn State is no offensive juggernaut, so they stuck with a pounding offense.  It was trench warfare, tough, grinding football.  Iowa QB James Vandenberg did his best, but he's just not very good.  With the first 2 steps of my parlay in the bank, and Rutgers doing its part with step 4, this was exciting, as Iowa trailed 6-3 and was moving the ball.  Then came an unfortunate Vandenberg fumble and the parlay house of cards began floating gently, irreversibly, to the ground.

Good points week, anyway.

 

Linking Five Today

Underdog, airborn with Sweet Polly Purebred. 
Polly was an uncomfortable blend of Wayne
Cochran hair, vaguely canine facial features
 & human torso.  There's a bartender in Bellwood
who resembles Sweet Polly: big white hair,
vaguely canine facial features, three
fingers on each hand...

Here's the 5 event "Overs and Underdogs" parlay that I've played today.

The payoff is a little under 25:1. 

Keep your fingers crossed and the beverages frosty, there's a lot of TV watching to do today (that will need to be reconciled with incredible warm temps and lots of sunshine... maybe have the servants move the big screen onto the veranda).

	1. Minnesota VS Purdue	Total Points (Game)	Over 48
	2. Vanderbilt VS Alabama	Total Points (Game)	Over 41½
	3. Iowa VS Penn State	Spread (Game)	Iowa +4
	4. Pitt VS Rutgers	Spread (Game)	Rutgers +7
	5. Army VS MiamiO	Spread (Game)	Miami Ohio +2

UPDATE :
Halftime of OK v TX : it's been a mugging so far. TX looks like a team that took the wrong bus and arrived at this game by accident. Unless things change right away (and there's no reason to think that they will), I've done an about face into a buzz saw. UGGHHHHH!
Purdue is pounding MN in the first game of my parlay, but this one has a long way and a lot of points to go.  I can't watch the game because Beth Mowins is the lead announcer, and that is like fingernails on the blackboard, simply intolerable.

About Face!

In Saturday's Red River Rivalry game, I picked Oklahoma -9 1/2.  From the instant I pushed the button, I've been uncomfortable.  Popular opinion supported the choice, as the spread went to 10 1/2.  I grew more uncomfortable.

I decided to scratch the itch: I've doubled back and selected Texas + 10 1/2.  The 'Horns are on an upward arc, and last week they handily beat a very good Oklahoma State team.  This week's game is in Dallas, in the Cotton Bowl, and I think Texas is going to stay inside the spread. 

Nirvana would be a 10 point OK win, but let's don't get greedy.
UPDATE: HAHAHA!!!

Mercenary Weekend

First things first.  Happy Birthday, Tyler!

This business of betting on football can become pretty maddening.  Sitting at dead even after five weeks is no fun, though it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, that is to say better than being negative.  TwoGun is fond of reminding that the bookmakers are reeeeealy good at what they do, and he is reeeealy correct.  He pointed out that after 4 weeks, the dogs v. favorites and overs v. unders was pretty close to a dead heat.  The linesetters are doing their job very well, now we just gotta do ours.  So, today, we blast away on some teams that are not our faves, but look like they'll make us some money.

Interesting concept, making money.

****  ILLINOIS -16 1/2 @ INDIANA
Saturday 1:30 on BTN

Unsubstantiated reports say that
there was a meeting at this
restaurant earlier this week that
had a major impact on the
setting of this week's wagers.
The meeting supposedly revolved
around a most excellent ghoulash.
It (the restaurant, not the ghoulash)
is not located in one of America's
most dangerous cities, click here
to see which burgs make the top 5.

Illinois is fresh off its final minute win in Champaign over Northwestern and the Illini have gone to 5-0 for the first time since the invention of cheap shots.  This is the rare air that we guard against, the  point at which a team is playing at a level to which they are unaccustomed, and thus run out of O2.  I don't think this is going to happen to Illinois for several reasons.  First, they're playing the Indiana Hoosiers, who have once again this year failed to improved their lot in life and appear destined to bumble along for the balance of the season.  Second, I think Nathan Scheelhaase is a very fine QB, and he is improving week to week, too bad for the Hoosiers.  Third, I think the Illini are sufficiently arrogant to sail through the minimal challenge of this week's opponent, i.e. too in love with themselves to run out of gas in Bloomington.  This game opened at IL -14, quickly climbed to -16 1/2 (where I got on), and then dropped back to -14.  Ya pays yer money and ya takes yer chances, this is no place for the faint of heart.

***  MICHIGAN -7 @ NORTHWESTERN
Saturday 6:00 p.m. on BTN
November 4, 2000:  the Wolverines and Wildcats engaged in the single most entertaining football game that I have every seen, pounding each other senseless well into a Saturday night in Evanston until Northwestern prevailed 54-51.  This year will not feature that level of drama.  Michigan is rising, while Northwestern is clawing at keeping its year from turning into a washout.  It is a beast to bet against your favorite team, but I think there will be no storybook ending for the 'Cats this Saturday.   Too bad; might as well make a buck on it.  Here's the best of from back when, Brent Musberger is the perfect voice for this game.


** AIR FORCE +15 @ NOTRE DAME 
Saturday  2:30 on NBC
Big balls Saturday continues with a wager against the source of my great discontent, the USB.  If you've been around this space for any length of time, you grok my enmity for the University of South Bend, and you are familiar with my incredible track record of landing 180 degrees across from whatever the final result the Domers put up. It's time to conquer the curse.  The Air Force prevailed by a single point against Navy last week, while USB shellacked the Purdue Boilermakers.  My reasoning here is that the Air Force plays every minute, every play, and they will be able to keep this one close.  



*  OKLAHOMA -9 1/2 vs  TEXAS
Saturday  11:00 a.m. on ABC
This is the Red River Rivalry game, and 92,000 will bear witness in the Cotton Bowl in Dallas.  Oklahoma has slid a little from its pinnacle ranking, while the 'Horns, unranked in the preseason, have climbed to #11.  Line 'em up and watch the boys pound each other, this is going to be fun.

In degenerate gambler news, last week some chap who invests at the same place that we do strung together a 22 team parlay (across 4 or 5 different sports) and turned $55 into $26K.  Not the biggest parlay $$ win ever, but the most teams ever put together in a parlay at that establishment.   To think that we spit the bit on 3 Dog Night and 4Star 4 Dogs. 
Props to Illinois' Coach Zook for acting quickly to publicly discipline his kick-in-the-balls linebacker.  It's a no-win situation for the already unlovable Illinois squad, and Zook made the right call...he had little choice, as the Big Ten gave its endorsement of the punishment.  Put another way, the conference said "if the coach hadn't, we would have".

That's the message for taoday's wagers...if we didn't, someone else would have.

Illinois, Home of the Cheap Shot

They are 5-0, thanks to the limp pass defense of Northwestern, but they remain one of the most unlikable teams in college football.  I'm talking about the kings of the cheap shot,  Ron Zook's University of Illinois football team.  Never a strong character group, now they've achieved simple thug status. Witness as NU lineman Pat Ward, #70, gets kneed in the groin by #45, Jonathan Brown, the pride of the Illini:

On to our scoreboard...

**** New Mexico State -1 1/2 @ New Mexico WIN 
Final 42-28
Thank heaven for things you can still count on.  I didn't see the game, as we were out at a social function, and I held my breath when I checked the scores, since the rest of the wagers were sitting in a smoldering pile.  Voila, the Aggies and Lobos had run true to form, and the weekend was not a complete disaster. 

*** #16 USF -2 1/2 @ Pitt  LOSE
Final Pitt 2 bazillion, USF idunno
I went with my gut on this one, despite amply factual evidence that pointed in the opposite direction.  That was a very poor choice.

The Drake Hotel in Chicago, where we attended a
function on Saturday night. A downtown landmark
since 1920, The Drake is oh, so elegant and tasteful. 
Like me.

** Akron @ Eastern Michigan -9  LOSE 
Final 31-23
Give 9, win by 8.  It was that kind of day.  But losing a bet on the Zips?  C'mon...  


* #14 Texas A&M -3 @ #18 Arkansas LOSE
Final Arkansas 42, A&M 38
A&M was cruising, then the Hogs woke up.  Arkansas tied it at 35 on a fumble-into- the-end zone TD and 2 point conversion one minute into Q4.  A&M played well enough to lose throughout the rest of the game, completing a second consecutive week of blowing a big lead in the second half. 

Our other highlight games: 

•  Illinois, the dirtiest team I've watched all year (head shots, groin shots, anything they can anytime they can, including the famous "kick 'em in the balls" play), beat Northwestern behind a great performance from QB Nathan Scheelhaase and WR A.J. Jenkins. 
• Wisconsin said an official howdy, welcome to the Big 10, hope you enjoy a real long ride home to Nebraska with a beat down of the Huskers, and
•  ooooooh, them 'Bama boys are tough!